this is my thesis so far. I dont know if it needs more work or to be strengthene

this is my thesis so far. I dont know if it needs more work or to be strengthened. Basically just about proving how Grammarly is useful to alot of people. Despite the fact that millions of people have access to this platform as a propeller to improve their writing, is Grammarly truly capable of repairing a piece of work that eliminates all flaws and improves writing?
I also have to include my experience with it and how It helps me alot too.